Contact B.O.

For the past 9 years, I have been an avid attendee of the legendary Eeyore's Birthday Party down in Pease Park in beautiful Austin, Texas. A great event and place where all of Austin's most freaky and hippie, can come celebrate doing what they do best: confusing us all by publicly being loud, smelly, and high.

I proudly went to the University here in Austin. And no that doesn't mean one of the 323 Austin Community College campuses. In fact to be considered a satellite campus, I believe all you need is 13 out of a standard 22 piece Funk & Wagnall's Encyclopedia set.

But I did take the liberty of looking up "Advanced Pagan Skunk Waltzes" and "Drum Circle Theory" in the ACC course schedule, was disappointed when there were no such classes to enroll in. For someone who needs to know how to coat the inside of their nether-regions with reflective silver paint and thong it around the local park, I was deeply saddened.

I applaud the families who brought their children to the event. For once the parents were stoned in public, rather than just on the Futon ala the 364 other days of the year. BTW, be wary of complementing their children of such families about their costumes. You might just find out they are hand-me-downs from the wardrobe of the Muppets last movie.

My favorite costumes strangely were less slutty, of which there were enough to make Heidi Fleiss look pious, and the more interpretive. Ever see someone act like bong resin?

Anyways, Happy Birthday Eeyore. I know in my heart you really turned 42 this year. Even though the beer cups said 41 & were from last year.

I wouldn't sweat it though. Mostly everyone that day who stared at that 2004 long enough, believed they could make it a 2005.