I must smell like Bacon

Its the only reason I can think of why my two pooches prefer my affection over that of my lovely bride.

We give them the same milk bones, brush 'em with the same ionic pet-brush, and give them the same doses of dog-crack. Canine Carry Outs better come out with a Methadone equivalent, or stay in business so help me God.

The day their fix goes away, is the day they pee on my remote. Again.

Remember the Pizzaria Chips that came out in the late '80's? Or Sizzlean? Their departure from the marketplace was traumatic enough for a child with cognitive reason. What do think it'll do to someone who looks at the toilet and sees Evian?

It's kind of sad to know they're not thinking "Hey, Dad's home", rather: "It's Baaaaacon."

I love that positioning too. "Dogs can't tell the difference." I think dogs can tell the difference. If every dogs' hiney smelled the same, the why the adamant demand to run up and grab a whiff of every new one they come across?

All in all I think my wife is coming out ahead in this. She thinks the dogs' attention for her isn't fairly balanced, and I'm telling the world that I might be emitting rosemary rubbed pork medallion pheromones.

You know how you traded Dad exploits in the schoolyard? "My Dad can lift 200 lbs with his bunion. My Dad eats 10 hamburgers on the way to buy 10 more." Maybe they'll use this next time they're at the dog run. "My dad smells like salted pork."