Top ten uses for a USC "National Champions 2006" T-Shirt

10. Stitch 10 of them together to make a pair of undies for Kirstie Alley.

9. Donate them to the Countdown-Until-Nick-Lachey-is-Homeless Clothing Drive.

8. Ebay them with the profits going to free Maurice Clarett for wrongful imprisonment.

7. Terry Bradshaw bald spot waxing rags.

6. Wear one to Brokeback Mountain and be uber-gay.

5. Send one to Geraldo Rivera and wait for him to report it as a true story.

4. Dress small children in them if Michael Jackson is present, and pray he confuses them with Frat guys.

3. Coat one with herpes ointment, and then and only then,
will Christina Aguilera wear it.

2. Compress them into a giant bar-bell so Arnold Schwarzengger can do reps with it while calling you a girlie man.

1. Bevo XIV's training diapers.