40¢ a Day

Rachel Ray needs to learn how to tip.

I don't mean Rachel needs advice on how best to tip, or factors that can affect a tip.
Just flat out start from scratch reboot her tipping program.

All she has to do is have Gordon Elliot stand next to her at Tupelo Honey,
or wherever the heck else she's managed to piss off around the country,
and shake him until the Sacajawea dollars start falling out of his forehead wrinkles.

I've left better tips that were intentionally bad. At least I'll pay you for your public ridicule.

83¢ that includes tax on a $9 meal is just coldhearted. You're better off flushing Korans.

Oh, and Giada DeLaurentiis's head is the size of the Death Star.