The cabs in New York are indeed yellow.

That's right, chicken.

Sue has never been to New York, but what she could ascertain
from our short 36 hour stay, is that not one of our cabbies ever
took us to where we asked them to take us.

Broken English or not, we could make out of the 4 of 4 trips in
the belly of the yellow beast, that traffic was just too ridiculous
to fulfill our requests.

We even had to interview with the cabbies before getting in.
It might have been easier to request a business meeting with
the Donald himself.

I guess next time we go to New York, we'll have resumés in tow
just in case we need to get uptown.

I'll be sure to add a dab of Aqua Velva to the paper for nuance.

Harriet Myers jokes lost on 4 year-old Trick-or-Treaters

Apparently they don't discuss the politics of selecting supreme court nominees
and the partisan implications of such, anymore after nap time in pre-kinder.

Not only did the ghoulishly costumed fail to infer any of the meaning behind
my bantering anecdotes, they also made taking candy out of a bowl one of
the single greatest perils to overcome that mankind has ever witnessed.

I thought it might have been method acting, but no. The zombies that rapped
repeatedly on my door were too apathetic to say the obligatory three words which
magically augment your booty of Twizzlers and Milk Duds.

Some had no business wearing the costumes they had on too, as they were clearly
out of the realm of simple human comprehension. If you wear a pimp outfit and then
get asked to "Slap me around before I give you jujubees", you better damn well
understand what I mean by that.

Bravo for the Moms leading their kids around who saw an opportunity to really
skank it up, and ran with it. Ahh, Halloween, a day in which you can unabashedly
decieve your children.

"My mommy's a princess." No dear, your mom is dressed up like a dead hooker
who O.D.'d on blow and vicodin.